The Felixes

Or, the Anti-Oscars.TM

Best Supporting Actor of 2011

Kenneth Branagh for My Week with Marilyn

PRO: Shakespearean Branagh gleefully chews the scenery as the egomaniacal, power-hungry Sir Laurence Olivier.

CON: Is that acting, really?

Jonah Hill for Moneyball.

PRO: Provides comic relief in a detailed study of "sabermetrics" from Michael Lewis, the nonfiction writer who also had a sports hit two years ago (The Blind Side).

CON: Basis of sabermetrics is how to put out a quality product without spending a ton of money. Hollywood horrified at the prospect.

Nick Nolte for Warrior

PRO: Classic comeback role of born-again, alcoholic ex-fighter trying to reconnect with his son by training him to be a mixed-martial-arts champion.

CON: That mug shot. That mug shot. That mug shot.

Christopher Plummer for Beginners

PRO: Nominated two years ago for The Last Station; voting members may be ready to give this young whippersnapper a chance.

CON: No fun nudity like Brokeback Mountain. Instead, film is like a really-long-delayed Dan Savage promise: "Hey kids, it gets better ... if you live to be 80."

Max Von Sydow for Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

PRO: Plays a character who does not speak, but conveys worlds with his face, his shrugs, and his hands, on which are written just two words, "yes" and "no."

CON: Might work better if he sang, because otherwise the hand thing just reminds us too much of Meat Loaf in Rocky Horror.

Best Supporting Actress of 2011

Berenice Bejo for The Artist

PRO: "Star is Born"-style rise to greatness. Steals the show without saying a word.

CON: Two words (not uttered aloud, of course): Rinko Kukuchi.

Jessica Chastain for The Help

PRO: Biggest hit of all the movies nominated in this category (though Bridesmaids is close behind). With this and The Tree of Life, she's having a big year.

CON: May split vote with Spencer, nominated for the same picture; in a movie about the black perspective on the '60s and '70s, the Academy makes the courageous choice to nominate ... the white girl?

Melissa McCarthy for Bridesmaids

PRO: Sitcom star McCarthy shines in the R-rated comedy that proved that women can be as raunchy as men.

CON: It's Mike and Molly, not Oscar and Molly.

Octavia Spencer for The Help

PRO: If Golden Globes acceptance was any indication, would deliver a rousing speech if tapped.

CON: In this year of cross-dressing-themed films (Albert Nobbs, and of course the groundbreaking Jack and Jill) Academy members did not realize Octavia Spencer wasn't Tyler Perry.

Janet McTeer for Albert Nobbs

PRO: Incisive, gender-bending performance as a woman playing a man who at one point dresses as a woman.

CON: It's like a remake of Victor, Victoria that nobody saw.

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Felixes 2012 Table of Contents