The Felixes
Or, the Anti-Oscars.TM

Best Supporting Actor 2003

Alec Baldwin in The Cooler

PRO: The hobbit makeup guys spent hours on his hands

CON: The kind of performance where Alec Baldwin makes Stephen Baldwin look like Billy Baldwin

Benicio del Toro in 21 Grams

PRO: Won for "Traffic;" has juicy role originally intended for Sean Penn; not since Brando has a man acted so well while enunciating so prlsbmbluh

CON: In a year with "Dirty Pretty Things," this only second best organ donor movie of the year

Djimon Honsou in In America

PRO: After Amistad, a role with a little sweetness

CON: Zero name recognition; he'd get more votes if he was listed as "that guy from Amistad"

Tim Robbins in Mystic River

PRO: Holds his own against Sean Penn despite wearing Mary Lou Retton's hair (ah, the '80s)

CON: We preferred more understated co-star Kevin Bacon; political activism may lead Academy to fear repeat of Michael Moore anti-war rant

Ken Watanabe in Last Samurai

PRO: Actual title character (unlike non-nominee Tom Cruise)

CON: Japanese guy in movie about Japanese people -- not much of a stretch

Best Supporting Actress 2003

Shoreh Agdashloo in House of Sand and Fog

PRO: Iranian actress, best known for performing in Farsi, quietly stands up against Kingsley, best known for playing Hindi

CON: Letterman not hosting this year; fear of Joan Rivers chador jokes

Patricia Clarkson in Pieces of April

PRO: Spillover goodwill from "The Station Agent": warm breast-cancer victim portrayal advances genre made great by "First you Cry"

CON: Isn't she that chick from "American Idol?"

Marcia Gay Harden in Mystic River

PRO: Holds her own in acting-as-hard-as-they-can company of Penn, Bacon and Robbins; also, has same middle name as Kevin Spacey

CON: A woman who'd do that to her husband doesn't deserve the Oscar.

Holly Hunter in Thirteen

PRO: Heartfelt recovering alky a favorite academy trope

CON: Mom-cooler-than-kid done better by Jamie Lee in "Freaky Friday"

Renee Zellweger in Cold Mountain

PRO: Character shows up and saves dire situation, in this case unwatchable movie

CON: Apparently, starving Southerners got through the war by chewing on scenery

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Felixes 2003 Table of Contents

Best Picture | Best Actor | Best Actress | Best Supporting Actor | Best Supporting Actress

Best Director | Best Foreign Film | Original Screenplay | Adapted Screenplay

Original Song | Original Dramatic Score |

Cinematography | Art Direction/Set Decoration | Editing | Documentary Feature


Everything Else


Links | Credits
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