The Felixes

Or, the Anti-Oscars.TM

Best Picture 2000

Chocolat

PRO: Fun and romantic flick in a somewhat downer year.

CON: Foreign film; lightweight treatment of the coca bean compared to its rival Traffic.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

PRO: Star Wars-style mythology meets Matrix-level choreography. In the words of our man Keanu, "whoa."

CON: The hidden dragon. We don't know what it is, either, and Crouching Dragon, Hidden Tiger makes just as much sense as a title.

Erin Brockovich

PRO: American movie, set in America. The movie A Civil Action wanted to be; James-Brown-quality feel good.

CON: Difficulty of explaining to Academy voters what tap water is.

Gladiator

PRO: Great costumes; sexy slaves; old-fashioned fighting without any of that sissy-flying shit.

CON: No matter how buff he is, Russell Crowe's no Tony Curtis. Some of us think he's not even Jamie Lee.

Traffic

PRO: A sweeping epic, dramatically detailing the hypocrisy and ambivalence that are part of fighting the war on drugs—and finely outlining the destruction narcotics causes to the addicts and neighborhoods where it is present.

CON: If Steve Winwood accepts the Oscar, we'll go batshit.

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Felixes 2000 Table of Contents


Best Picture | Best Actor | Best Actress | Best Supporting Actor | Best Supporting Actress

Best Director | Best Foreign Film | Original Screenplay | Adapted Screenplay

Original Song | Original Score |

Cinematography | Art Direction/Set Decoration | Editing | Documentary Feature

Everything Else

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