The Felixes
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Best Actor 2004

Don Cheadle for Hotel Rwanda

PRO: Hard-working character actor in Oskar Schindler-like role, saving Tutsi people from genocide; Academy voters hear word "Tutsi" and have fond association with vision of Dustin Hoffman in drag

CON: End credit song "Tu-Tu-Tutsi Goodbye" seems highly inappropriate

Johnny Depp for Finding Neverland

PRO: Great job in role as boy-loving creative type

CON: Michael Jackson backlash

Leonardo DiCaprio for The Aviator

PRO: Many wish to make it up to Leo for Titanic snub; plus, pulls off portrayal of rich weirdo who made independent movies and dated movie stars: the Quentin Tarantino of his day

CON: Hollywood doesn't think yelling "I want more cameras," is acting; Hollywood doesn't even think it's yelling

Clint Eastwood for Million Dollar Baby

PRO: Most mesmerizing performance of Clint's many-decades-long career

CON: No baby in evidence; waited till end of credits . . . still no baby

Jamie Foxx for Ray

PRO: Gives moving performance while wearing sunglasses; extra goodwill for bravura supporting turn in Collateral

CON: The Ashlee Simpson of this category, he lip-synched half his part

Best Actress 2004

Annette Bening for Being Julia

PRO: Semi-retired Mrs. Warren Beatty waited for a rare choice part; possibility voters will see "Julia" and think "Roberts"

CON: Small movie without draw of abortions or condom-swallowing; musty, Masterpiece Theatre-lite costume drama screams "vanity project"

Carolina Morena for Maria Full of Grace

PRO: Makes you feel better about your own crappy but non-condom swallowing job

CON: If your job does involve swallowing condoms, it seems a little trite

Imelda Staunton for Vera Drake

PRO: Label-conscious academy voters think they're picking their favorite designer, Vera Wang

CON: As William Donohue noted, Hollywood loves abortions, but where, oh where, is the anal sex?

Hilary Swank for Million Dollar Baby

PRO: She beat out Annette Bening five years ago (Boys Don't Cry vs. American Beauty); with this Golden Globe-winning performance, she'll do it again

CON: She's played men, she's played women who want to be men, she's played women who beat up other women. When is Swank going to admit it? She's Blake Edwards!

Kate Winslet for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

PRO: Fetching as always in year's most beautifully lit movie

CON: Something about it not quite . . . memorable

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Felixes 2004 Table of Contents

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