The Felixes
Or, the Anti-Oscars.TM

Best Picture 2004


PRO: Wealthy guy overcomes wealth-related obstacles thanks to overwhelming wealth -- a feel-good story for Academy voters

CON: Oscar voters may fear a required Saturday-night stay

Finding Neverland

PRO: Hollywood has based its entire existence on never growing up

CON: Too easily confused with upcoming Michael Moore documentary on Michael Jackson, Fahrenheit 9 - 11 1/2 years old.

Million Dollar Baby

PRO: After Boys Don't Cry, audience happy to see Swank beat people up for a change

CON: Audiences confused by lack of romance between Swank and 90-year-old Eastwood


PRO: Good to see inspirational story of musician without Behind-the-Music narration.

CON: The antidrug ending converts the movie to a three-hour Afterschool Special


PRO: Premarital cheating should snare philandering producer vote

CON: Napa, baby, napa; done better as Swingers without the wine-ing

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Felixes 2004 Table of Contents

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