The Felixes

Or, the Anti-Oscars.TM

Original Screenplay 2006

Babel, screenplay by Guillermo Arriaga

PRO: Grand scope; it takes place in way more countries than any of the other nominees do.

CON: Wasn't Clooney in this recently (Syriana) or Michael Douglas a couple years before (Traffic?) Stop writing the same movie, people!

Letters from Iwo Jima screenplay by Iris Yamashita, story by Iris Yamashita and Paul Haggis

PRO: Humanizes the "Good War" from the other side.

CON: Why do we need letters from Iwo Jima? Don't we have little brass statues already?

Little Miss Sunshine, written by Michael Arndt

PRO: In a year where "American Idol" loser Jennifer Hudson is everyone's favorite new star, story of talent-show runner-up has legs.

CON: Traveling across country in a van too similar to Borat — or the Partridge Family.

Pan's Labyrinth, written by Guillermo del Toro

PRO: Like Narnia, but with fascism.

CON: Since this conforms to many rules of the horror genre, we know that it's not over until Francisco Franco dies three times.

The Queen, written by Peter Morgan

PRO: Tightly observed insider drama by writer who also gets credit for penning The Last King of Scotland.

CON: If the Globes are any indication, an award would run the risk of a political acceptance speech.

Adapted Screenplay 2006

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazhakstan written by Sacha Baron Cohen, Anthony Hines, Peter Baynham, Dan Mazer, and Todd Phillips

PRO: The Academy like sex. The Academy like Borat.

CON: How hard is it to praise New York City, bears, and Pam Anderson?

Children of Men, written by Alfonso Cuaron, Timothy J. Sexton, David Arata, Mark Fergus, and Hawk Ostby

PRO: Well-paced adaptation of novel by one of our favorites, P.D. James.

CON: Oh, come on, babies aren't that hard to come by. We've seen Angelina and Madonna at work.

The Departed, written by William Monahan

PRO: Fine moral shadings leave you wondering just who to root for in this tale of South Boston treachery.

CON: All the writers had to do was get Jack Nicholson and serve him up a big tray of scenery.

Little Children, screenplay by Todd Field and Tom Perrotta

PRO: Hollywood loves infidelity …

CON: … but hates it when it works out so badly.

Notes on a Scandal, Screenplay by Patrick Marber

PRO: It takes some work to make child-molesting sympathetic; could run as double-feature with Deliver Us From Evil.

CON: (As voice-over:) "The opera has begun, and I zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

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Felixes 2007 Table of Contents

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